Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in brookemf's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, January 8th, 2006
1:07 am	FROM THE FIRST DAY OF BREAK!!!! Okay FanClub! Here's my little blurb I was supposed to post 3 WEEKS AGO. Fresh stuff in the morning. Enjoy it. Miss you all! FROM DECEMBER 20, 2005: Greetings, my adoring fan club, from not-so-sunny South Florida! I am in Hallandale Beach, home of old Jews and all their neuroses. It's kind of amazing how one concentrated area can fit so many control complexes, thick Yiddish/Brooklyn accents, and bagel shops. And, yes, those things are definitely all connected. Specifically, I am at The Anchor Bay Club and I quote, "a place of quiet enjoyment." No, this is not an assisted living/death home but rather a luxury condominium complex. It’s one of those minimum security gated facilities where people have way too much time and money. Imagine Del Boca Vista….on Perkaset. Maybe a little Vicaden. Definitely Metamucil and Zantac for the stomach issues. There’s the board of directors and social club. No winter “vacation” – I use the word vacation very, very loosely – is complete without the Bingo night and annual poolside pizza party. God, save me please. Now, you may be thinking, “Gee, Brooke, if life is this crazy, why would you subject yourself to the lunacy?” The answer, in the words of my arch nemesis Nancy Grace, Friend, is simple: the stories. Without this experience in absurdity, I would have no fodder for my bank of jokes. Well, comedic renditions of family happenings. So last night G&P (grandma and poppy), Aunt Jane, Uncle Arthur, cousin Seth, and I went to the Rascal House. You know, the stereotypical Jewish deli/restaurant. Food was great, of course. One problem, however, the waitress didn’t speak English. My immigrant grandfather who, like my grandmother can’t hear a single thing, trying to order matzoh ball soup. You know the scene. You’ve seen in it on Curb Your Enthusiasm. Old xenophobic Jew at the deli wanting soup, possessing no tolerance or patience, and trying to order food from a non-native English speaker. I want to give the woman a giant hug after my grandmother screeeaaamed at her for simply asking “how do you want your omelet cooked?” Granted, I’d never heard this ludicrous concept before but G got a little hysterical. To think, I’ll be in this environment for 3 weeks. Either I’ll grow incredibly patient and sympathetic or I’ll develop a nervous tick. Remember the eye twitching after spring break last year? Yea, I think we all know the answer. Omg, before I forget, I have to talk a bit about the trip down here. Guess what airline I flew….HOOTERS AIR. Yea, only in the Lehigh Valley would my only option for direct Florida travel be Hooters. Good job. Thanks. So, basically, there were the flight attendants and then 2 Hooters Girls. Let’s just talk about how one had the world’s worst Long Island tan and the other was chubby. Fat and orange = dead sexy tag team of air travel esteem. Wow, what a kickass experience. They even played games on the plane! I refused to participate. I couldn’t bring myself to indulge in such low-brow activities. Please, games?! They used the, and I quote, “not feeling so good bag” to do little games. I do not even know what happened. Words cannot describe it. I was too busy reading and sleeping. You know, “normal” plane activities. Maybe had I drugged myself heavily I would have been able to tune myself out completely. That’s what I’ll do for the flight home…if I make it to January. Dip into the medicine cabinet. Grab some unlabeled goodies. I love the color orange. It’s so hot for winter. Perhaps I’ll just find some orange pills. That’s actually a good idea now that I think about it. Well, seems like that’s about good for now. I’ll try and update more later. The cousins just got cable internet. The Kaplans are my saving grace. Dare I say, my savior? Is that too, you know, heretical/blasphemous, this close to xmas? Who gives a shit. Life without internet is no life at all. One last little morsel of Brooke – don’t forget the words that summarize my entire view of life/this planet/human existence: “I hate when real life interrupts my internet life” (and, no, not in the scary internet perv kind of way. I mean, how else could I possibly read Ha’aretz every day?!) (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, December 18th, 2005
9:04 pm	Stacey and London make my life....What Not to Wear MARATHON! Now, children, what did we learn from Uncle Gary's 4th Wedding? (Yes, that'd be the teacher tone, holler SED!!!) 1. Never have a sip of any sort of alcohol near Lynn and Sam aka the Feldman Parental Unit. I happened to be drinking a glass of White Zinfandel near the parents. Sam, seeing this fiasco, started off the "Brooke, we're worried about your drinking problem" speech, which was quickly followed by Lynn's "you look like a complete lowlife" speech. They didn't let up all night. Serves me right...I did have half a tablespoon of white wine. Flashfoward to brunch. I wore my giant sunglasses - surprise, it was fucking sunny. Oh no, according to Sam "I have a huge hangover." Yea, good job, Dad. Maybe you should back with me on that one after a REAL night out. Thanks, yea, I appreciate it. 2. Pretend to be a lesbian. Fuck, functions would be so much easier if I was a lesbian. Damnit. Instead, I had to endure the dreaded Jewish mothers' attempt at matchmaking. Unfortunately, there were 2 young, relatively attractive (that would be by my mom's taste), Jewish guys in need of girlfriends. Gee, Brooke needs a boyfriend. Brooke has no love life. So, these two guys, whom my cousin and I dubbed the Creepy Brothers, were being PIMPED OUT by their mother. Not only did my mother agree to this ludicrous scheme, but so did the guys. What the fuck?! You're weird. Do not let your mother set you up. Ever. Screw that, don't let anyone set you up...EVER. Got it? Let's just refresh your memory: AQUARIUM. That's right, this would have been worse. This probably been at the same level as Brandeis boy. Remember how pissed I got at the Facebook Wife? EWWWW. No thank you, not now, not EVER. Thanks. I think that's it for now. Those are two HUGE lessons. Definitely more later. For sure. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, December 17th, 2005
10:52 am	Bush admits auhtorizing NSA to eavesdrop in the US I figured this morning was as good of time as any to break in the Nike Shocks. Yea, I bought them in August but they still had that fresh sneaker look...and smell. (Wow, that was gross) So I decided to trek all the way down to what I like to call "Feldman FitRec" formerly known as the basement. Last year Lynn and Sam (Lynno and Shmuel for those of you in the know) purchased a treadmill, which Sam affectionately calls "the mill." He also uses it in verb form - "Brooke, are you going milling this morning?" It's weird. I understand. But, once again, not funny enough to make this shit up. So I head down to FFR and the mill has moved. In its spot is a poker table. Apparently the Newman has a weekly poker game. I didn't realize that in the past month my little brother not only turned 15 but also transformed into a 68 year old. You know, the poker table really goes well with the air hockey table. Don't worry, we can't use it. It's covered in this odd mishmash of things like sombreros, blank cds, photos from my awkward years aka high school, and really old Shabbos candles. I made Sam move the poker stuff and set up the mill. Then, just on cue, the tv wouldn't work. Of course, Brooke + technology = disaster. So I was forced to listen to music. I took the Newman's cd case...what a mistake. Because I didn't want to listen to Showtunes, Billy Joel, or Cat Stevens, I was forced to listen to Wyclef and Good Charlotte while I ran. Awkward combination. Life is NEVER dull here in the Feldman house. Trust me. Okay, time for a little manicure/pedicure action. I'll write more later no doubt. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
9:39 am	i hate celery, but i heart herzog BIG = LIFE (that's it for now) (Comment on this)
12:24 am	Did you know the Sexual Revolution finally reacched the feminine care aisle!? Yea, Elexa...hahahhaha Well, ladies and gentlemen, I am back in the Lehigh Valley. Back to the life of 24-hour diners, obesity, shitty strip malls, and converted farm land. I love the suburban sprawl, sans the city. Got to love Allentown. Actually, I don't even live in Allentown. I really live in this quaint little area called "South Whitehall Township." Precious, I know. It's this wee community where the Feldmans run the local public library. One time, when I lost my library books and got fined over $40, I was called "a disgrace to the family." My life is insane. As you well know, I am NOT funny enough to make shit like that up. So let's talk about my incredibly anti-climactic departure from Boston. [I would make some sort of joke about how, unlike communism, I went out with a whimper, not a bang but that's just not even funny. When my history jokes are lagging, I should know to stop altogether...oh well.] So, yea, I'm not going to lie, I'm really a little disappointed about how I left my city. No parade, no grand send off, nothing. Just a 2 HOUR delay in Logan. Yea, that's right, I sat in Logan for a grand total of 4 hours this evening. Maybe that explains why I'm really not that funny tonight. Perhaps. While I sat in the airport reading every magazine ever printed, I learned some VERY interesting things. Let's start with Cosmo (okay, we're just going to focus on Cosmo tonight): - They have this like fake blog thing. I found this to be relatively apt: "...when everyone at the station knows we're "dating." Yep, he actually said the D word. Is that what we're doing? I had no idea." Okay, well, this is the thing. I want to know what's going on...but I don't. Damn, winter break. Life = confusing. I think one simple thing can sum this whole thing up -> I am SO psyched to get back to school. I might have a caniption trying to get you out of my mind! Ahhh. - My horoscope in the 'Scoping Him Out': "Snap your usually frisky dude out of an erotic slump brought on by Venus's retro influence. Bust out some impulsive moves like grabbing his tush." Who the hell writes these things?! That's supposed to be my "future." Wow, my life is fucked. I'm not going to lie, I don't even know what that means. Even the section title confuses me. Oh, Cosmo, you're much to complicated and high-brow for poor, lowly me. Just for the record, Matty B, telling me that you read my blog will not inflate my ego. It'll just make me smile... a lot. Well, kiddos, I'll be updating A LOT over break so keep on checking. Just so, you know, you can live vicariously through my exciting life. I MISS YOU GUYS! Love forever to the BOSTON CREW. See you in oh-six!!!! (Comment on this)
Friday, December 16th, 2005
1:32 am	Convinced it's not living if YOU stand outside the fire... I cannot believe this is my last night in Shelton for the semester. Can somebody please tell me what happened to the past 3.5 months? It's absolutely INSANE how fast fall semester flew by. More stuff has happened than I can even remember. Let's try a bit - overhaul of the peer advising program & the mystery boat cruise, numerous shitty blind dates, some really interesting classes and my passion for nationalism jokes, KICKASS FRIENDSHIPS (the most exciting part!), my obsession with the Student Union, omg, so much more...All this leads me to believe that BU is quite possibly the greatest place ever. (Not that it's quite the academic climate I was looking for) I wouldn't trade these experiences for the world. Holy shit, I am so excited for spring semester! How am I going to survive the next month?! This is absolutely ludicrous. I don't want to leave! Not going to lie, this has soooo much to do with the past 3 weeks. I don't really know what's going on but it seems to be this crazy period of laughter and fun and distraction. It seems to be such a silly time to start anything up, but I wouldn't trade it...I am just having way too much fun. Yea, I now know you read this little blog of mine. So, hi!!! Perhaps it's good that I didn't turn this into some sort of Cosmo-esque account, just kidding. These past few weeks have been this incredible whirlwind, ahhh, why am I leaving tomorrow? A month...wow, that seems like a really long time. But, hell, at least I'll have more fun stories to share. That, and it will give you ample time to search the PTO DVD collection and bring back some good, quaility theater films. Definitely going to miss you. Seriously. Just got home from another P&P experience but this time with my newest favorite friend Annalisa. Actually, not really a new fixture in my life. She happens to be another one of those 301 connections. Thanks Ezzie for bringing these people into my crazy little life! So you know what we decided? Pride and Prejudice NEEDS more raw, sexual passion. Where is the nudity?! the vulgarity? A kiss on the forehead...please. There's way too much left for the imagination. Annalisa, that's for you, baby, and for our new mutual best friend Sarah. I'm going to tazer your face. Bring it, bitch, you said you wanted a physical scar. Poll question- would you rather have a physical or emotional scar? Oh, the things we discuss in the wee hours of the morn. Maybe we'll update once more from Boston tomorrow...who knows? BOSTON, I'LL MISS YOU! SEE YOU IN 2006!!! (Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 14th, 2005
11:59 pm	I've got a quarter; Heads Carolina, Tails California I hate to be conceited (stop laughing) but it seems that more than just 2 individuals read this little message board of delight, forum of excellent and comedic rambling, or, I daresay novel attempt at self-expression. It really just surprises me everytime I get an IM like "I can't live without your blog." Well, maybe the feedback isn't that extreme but it seems as if I've developed some sort of sick, twisted cult following. (Next comes the fermented Kool-Aid, oh, just kidding) I'm not sure if that's a sadder commentary on your lives or mine. It's really hard to pinpoint. Other thing to note- I'd like to thank ya'll for supporting me in calling this little site my "blog," not "livejournal." It helps me feel as though I'm no longer in middle school. Although, if you just take a look at the chronic acne, you'd never know that I was actually a sophomore in college. Just kidding, that's all my OrthoTriCyclen's fault. Bastard birth control. Before I start my little tizzy about how much I hate finals but secretely love history, I'd like to just mention tonight's star-o'-blog. Perhaps that's what I'll call the friend that nags me most about a shout out. Perhaps. Or, I could just post their social security number and credit card information. Identity theft anyone? Hollerr. So getting to the point, I'd like to take this opportunity to say, "Yo, Drew, what up, babe!" For those of too pathetic and misanthropic to not know Drew let me just give you some background information. Drew's one of my little freshmen friends, to be more specific one of my absolute faves! He's the Shelton rep to the Student Union. (yea, union!) And, more than that, Drew thinks that I'm funny. Well, I pay him to laugh. That sort of counts. And we do laundry together, if and when I do laundry. Drew- this one's for you and I hope you heart my bumblebee backdrop. It's time to actually start a little bit of the immigration history prep. I spent way too much time on my 372 paper. Fuck. Let's go reread my paper on spaghetti and meatballs and write away messages about xenophobia. Okay, maybe it's not a group effort but that's sure as hell what I'm about to do. More later, don't you worry now! (Comment on this)
2:27 am	No one is a tabula rosa...Oh, Arthur Schlesinger, you're a BALLER Hello adoring public! Aka, Biggie and Elena. What up, girls?! Maybe you two should meet. Hell, you happen to share this passion. Some may call it dementia, but I'd rather think it's platonic devotion. I appreciate it. I love you guys! Seriously, without you two, I'm betting there's only one person that reads this little outlet for my creativity. And that person, what a shock, would be me. Haha. No, seriously, you two rock my little egotistical world. Hollerrrr. SO, in the appropriate fashion, I shall open this long overdue entry with a request for time. Can we please just take a few minutes to discuss the irony of life? Time. What is it? I don't understand it, nor do I know if I truly want to understand it. It's funny to think of all the things one can accomplish in a single day, no, a single moment. And, yet, time constrains us. I often feel stifled by the lack of time, in a day, in a year, in a life. Ever feel that pressure? I do...a lot. I think it has a lot to do also with motivation. For, if you're truly motivated, that is self-motivated, time can cause you to feel the burdens of pressure. Not really sure where all this philosophical drizzle is coming from tonight. It's weird, often I get in these moods, typically in the wee hours of the morn, when I just feel the need to philosophize. Ask me a question and I'll just ramble on about this or that, or why niether seems to be plausible in that forum. I would often have these late night philosophy sessions with my roommate at Governor's School. What an incredible program. Nah, that's a story for another time. On a relatively lighter note, the end of the semester is a very interesting time. I mean, it's the end of the term and while most people are rushing and stressing to complete this study guide or read that book, my life seems to be altering in a relatively different direction. While I may have little, if any, work complete, there seems to be this other distraction right now. Well, there are a plethora of distractions. I mean, if you truly know me, you know that I'm the most efficient procrastinator to walk the face of the planet. I never really believed people when they quipped that if you're not looking, it'll find you. It's such a truism. It's funny how people just kind of appear in your life and you're like "whoa, what? wait, where's this all coming from?" I think I have solidified more friendships in these past few weeks than in recent memory. Isn't that odd? I mean, it's hard to think what truly catalyzes friendships/relationships but when you can pinpoint a certain comment or action, it's fucking ridiculous. It's like, I knew that <_______> was going to be in my life <__________>. Like Molly, for example, she's in my 301 class. The first moment of our friendship? The second night of school, in a thankfully fleeting moment of drunken debauchery on Bay State, I said to her, in passing, "Hey! You're in my history class! I saw you on Facebook!" That was, what, 4 months ago? I can't believe I just thought of that. There are so many other examples right now that would seem fitting. Perhaps it's because my away message is dedicated to her. Perhaps. Maybe I'll continue by doing an end of semester wrap-up. I can't lie. You two know this. I am going to miss my nationalism jokes. I mean, it was just such great fodder for my bank of jokes. My comedic ability and material is going to severely decline. I could continue with my xenophobic, hating ways but with no foundations, quotes from Kedourie and Gellner and Anderson, it's just no fun. I'll have to find a new scholarly outlet for my comedic prowess. Haha. Oh, dear. I love me a political joke. Slaw, I'm sure you like that too. I mean, we did decide earlier this semester that boys are really turned on by nationalism jokes. No? Ehh, I guess I can live with that conclusion. Speaking of boys, there seems to be this particular one that's been on my mind and in my life lately. Wait, kidding, this seems like a really awkward forum for discussing this. I guess I'm not quite at the level of the "Washingtonienne." That, and I really care about him. I mean, after that intense conversation with D, or as I like to call it 'my experience with real introspection,' I decided that taking a risk might be a good idea. She was fucking right. I don't know why I doubt this girl, nor why I insist on giving her a hard time. She's quite possibly one of the greatest people I've ever known. Anyways, this boy is just about incredible. Don't know if he'd read this, if so, wow I'm not a stalker. I'm not that insane. Come on, you should know me a bit better than that. Just wanted to share with my stalkers, aka, best friends, that you're important. Obviously if you've made it to the blog, you're kind of a big deal. Haha. So I tried to keep this entry light and obviously failed. Oh well, I guess I can take that kind of failure. It's almost 3am Wednesday morning of finals week. What do ya'll expect?! haha. I really will honestly try to make some more fun, FUNNY entries the rest of this week. And don't you worry, I'll be updating all the chances I get over winter break...Del Boca Vista on Monday! wahooooo. Sweet dreams, ya'll!!! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 6th, 2005
1:32 am	Damn these distractions! According to Miss SAS, I just had a meltdown. Not one of those "I'm super stressed, Carla & her calc homework" freakout sessions. Not by any means. Sometimes I just have too much energy for my own good. I got home tonight from Student Union and was happy...very happy. Union was kickin despite some odd individuals/comments. Don't forget that other reason that made me just beam/glow/excited. A certain special circumstance of sorts. All I can say is that I'm a big fan. A very big fan. I really can't seem to think of what else to add. I have to work on my term paper which, by the way, seems to NOT be happening right now. I think I might just go to bed and finish it all tomorrow. Sounds like a good plan. I mean, as long as it's done by 6pm, who cares? It's just a huge percentage of my course grade. If I'm not in the mindset to complete the paper, the topic doesn't matter. Right I'm not ready to do it. I'll just have to wait till the morning. Oh well. Worse things have happened in the history of man...I guess. The eyes are burning. My body aches. But I'm so damn excited. Shit, this makes me feel uncomfortable...but in a good way. I think it's time for some sleep. Sweet dreams, kids. (Comment on this)
Monday, December 5th, 2005
8:49 am	If you're standing outside the fire... So where did this semester go?! I woke this morning at the crack of down...8 am. I had planned to work on my term paper. What a hollow ambition! I wrote about half a paragraph, listened to showtunes, and browsed quote pages. Haha, what a dear, dear cool child I am. I mean, I guess my determination is relatively admirable. Nah. I do have work soon which means I need to be psyched, peppy, and pumped...can do! Admissions rocks. Come on, I get paid about 14231234 times as much as I did working at Timber Tops to sit and talk to prospies about how much I love BU and why. Fantastic, I know. That, and it's just a few doors down from my humble abode. (Music wise we just moved to Garth Brooks, hellz yes.) Rather than rambling on about my life and how it's absolutely incredible, I thought I'd leave some quotes which I find strangely appropriate/humbling/interesting. These, of course, might make there way into the BMF away message bank of greatness. We shall see... "I want somebody who can hold my interest, hold it and never let it fall. Somebody who can flatten me with a kiss that hits like a fist, or a sentence that stops me like a brick wall."-Ani DiFranco "Happiness isn't getting what you want, it's wanting what you've got."-Garth Brooks "These are the days of the endless summers. These are the days, the time is now. There is no past, there's only future. There's only here, there's only now."-Van Morrison "I can't remember all the times I tried to tell myself to hold onto these moments as they pass..."-Adam Duritz, "A Long December" "Someday, when we both reminisce/ we'll both say, 'There wasn't too much we missed,'/ and through the tears we'll smile when we recall/ we had it all for just a moment."-St. Elmo's Fire "Every year just whizzes by, and I keep having to remind myself not to worry and to go out and do whatever I want. Stay up late, go to that movie, eat that cheeseburger, go on that trip—because that's all that matters. That's what you're going to remember, not sitting around fucking moping and questioning stuff all the time. But that's so hard to live by, isn't it?"-Liv Tyler, Jane (1 Comment |Comment on this)
12:41 am	I live for Elena's aim freak out sessions! Well this certainly was a weekend for the record books. Sooo good! But not in the "I'm the giddiest person alive" sense. It's hard to describe. It was just kind of great. After the discovery and randomness that was Thursday, the weekend progressed into...awesomeness. Brief overview: Friday: Admissions, coffee and conversation, bonding with Caroline, Rich 7 (very, very good night) Saturday: Nothingness, BU/BC hockey game, StuV Sunday: pow-wow with Mark, gingerbread house making competition, tv time More than that, however, I made some key decisions about life and the future. Since ya'll who read this (aka my Big) really need an update, here we go: - I'm not going to Madrid next year. Sorry, Spanish men, you're going to have to survive with a different obnoxious American girl catcalling you through the streets. I'm staying in BOSTON!!! I don't know, I just can't seem to tear myself away from BU. Love this place so damn much. Obsession anyone?! (That and there's this little thing called opportunity that seems to be calling me...who knows? It could be a great summer here in Boston, followed by a year of BU awesomeness) - I am applying to go to Poland for a week in May. I have the opportunity to tour the countryside and camps with the March of Remembrance and Hope. It's an educational leadership trip to Poland. In the process of applying. Wish me luck! I want to do this so badly. (Too bad I don't have this kind of determination to complete my term paper which is due Tuesday.) I promise that the next entry will be a bit funnier. I must crash. PURE EXHAUSTION!!! (Comment on this)
Friday, December 2nd, 2005
12:53 am	Food so good you'll think we stole your...mom?....no, personal chef Can we, just for a second, contemplate how random life is? I mean, seriously, I'm reading Kundera right now. (Side note- incredible book. "The Unbearable Lightness of Being". Read it...like now) So this is my frame of mind. Heavy into philosophy. Crazy circumstances. Fucked up love life, or lack thereof. Yeps, it sounds like me...well, very close. So tonight went over to Cambridge. Very interesting fraternity get together. Awesome night! So much fun, but not really in the way I expected it to be. I don't know if I can explain this in blog-form. Ever been in one of those situations where it starts off random as hell, but then you end up back home smiling, giddy, and happy about the progression of the evening? Met some new people. Some very sexy, intelligent Jewish boys to be exact. Had an unbelievably real conversation. Oh, how strange it is to be honest! It's remarkable how much you can learn about another person and, more than that, yourself, when you are honest. Wow. It covered just about everything from grad school to country music to spitting versus swallowing. Quite the night! What else today? I purchased Maureen Dowd's new book "Are Men Necessary?" (And, no, that's not an addendum to my new lesbian lover (cough Megan) nor to my taste in music (I can't help it if I'm a closeted angry lesbian, I just love Ani and Indigo Girls!) Only a few pages in, but I thought I'd give some quotes: "The entanglements between men and women come in three forms: tragedies, comedies, and tragicomedies. Outrage regularly alternates with silliness. Illusions are often more interesting than realities. Causes and desires are regularly mixed up. Will there ever be peace? I doubt it. But there should always be laughter." "Sarcasm is dangerous. Avoid it altogether. It ruins the aura of softness, womanliness and kindness you should be attempting to create around yourself." (Dowd quoting 'How to Catch and Hold a Man') suuure...fuck that! One final thought...I've updated my facebook profile. Enjoy! (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 30th, 2005
12:37 am	Nothing but LOVE for the Dirty Sanchez Wow. It has been way too long. I would say that my adoring public has missed by rants/raves/ruminations on life but really it's just that my Big yells at me to update. Haha, hearts Herzog. So, I figure, what the hell, it's not as if I'm writing my 372 paper anyways. I might as well take some time out of my oh-so-busy schedule to enhance, improve, and brighten your day. Kidding. So let's talk Thanksgiving. Now, you may be thinking: "What kind of individuals spawned Brooke? In what type of environment did she grew, learn, and, dare I say, mature?" I've actually narrowed this down to a precise, umm, description: "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" meets "Everybody Loves Raymond" but Jewish. Highlights: Thanksgiving meal I had matzoh ball soup, brisket, and rugelach. Come on, it's not as if the Pilgrims actually ate pumpkin pie and turkey and stuffing. Spent some quality time with The Newman. Want the saddest story ever? Here's the situation: I never share anything with my family. Sharing information about my life, especially the love life or lack thereof, would prompt questions and sharing of more information. Thus, I avoid all references to it. The Newman, my 14 year old brother Brett, has not yet learned this technique. So, after a period of making fun of him and his little 14 year old lady friend, my grandmother turns to me and says, "Brooke, darling, now don't you think you could learn something from Brett?" Yea, fuck that, I'm going to take dating cues from my little brother. I mean, I actually screw up my life on a daily basis but I think I can manage without the advice of a high school freshman. Not going to lie, I felt like shit. Let's back track a minute. SDT semi formal. So much fun! I consider it a mad success. Took Mark. What a good guy, classic friend. But, the next few days all I heard was "So, Brooke, did you two hook up?" What is this?! I actually can go to an SDT event and not hook up with somebody, thank you very much! Now, I know what I'm typing next might be controversial but since Herzog is the only person that reads this I don't frankly care. I hate this time of year! I hate the commerciality of the Christmas season. It's ridiculous. You know that scene in the beginning of "The Hebrew Hammer" when little Mordechai is sitting by himself in the corner and the teacher mocks his faith and then the evil Santa crushes his dreidel? Yes, that would be my life. This time of year really bothers me. I will concede, however, that there are two good things about it - cookies and sales. I'll prepare more for my next entry but it might just be easier not to get me started. Argh! Hmm, maybe I'll start some homework. Nah....back to Facebook! (Comment on this)
Friday, November 18th, 2005
1:31 am	Ain't nobody else is gonna love you.... To my adoring public: I sincerely apologize! I have not supplied you with adequote loving (aka blog postings) in far too long. Have you been able to sleep through the night without your pleasurable bedtime stories? And, sorry, this is not to be confused with those erotic tales written by that special fellow SED student. Love that child to death, so fucking hysterical. So, you most likely are thinking to yourself, "Gee, what has my beloved Brooke been up to this past week?" Let me take this opportunity to share with you important (ha!) thoughts, events, etc: 1. For some reason I've been feeling like I have to make all my major life decisions this week. Why? I have no clue. This is the biggest question for me right now. Please, please, please let me know what you think: - Do I go to Madrid next fall or should I run for Student Union President? 2. My big is quite possibly the greatest person of all times. Let's just say 2 words: Dirty Sanchez! She shared with me this link and I think you'd enjoy it as well. Click...I dare you. Nah, I triple dog dare you! http://www.subgenius.com/updates/5-99news/X0027_the_dirty_sanchez_et.html That's from Herzog...with love. To all you potential rushees~ you could be in our lineage! Come on, you know you want to be part of our fam. Hello, Dirty Sanchezes ... winks. Palm trees, pink panthers, looney toons, DIRTY SANCHEZES 3. I am kind of obsessed with Student Union. Have you met Elena? You really should start stalking her. It's actually one of the best decisions I've ever made. Let's just say that she's going to physical therapy me. Wait, does that make sense? Hell, I don't care. That, and we have a romantic symphony date with none other than Dean Elmore. Be jealous! 4. I have a fan club! SAS created a Facebook group dedicated to me. AHHH. It's called, appropriately enough, "I love CNN! (the Official Brooke Feldman Fan Club)" Fitting, eh? Wait, have I mentioned that Anderson Cooper ousted Aaron Brown. Tears...no, that means 2 FULL HOURS of AC360 every night! 10-12 PM, bitches! You should really join. I mean, I think it only has like 9 members - including me - right now and I know that more than 9 of you pathetic souls stalks this blog. Come on, I need some more self-esteem and I totally base it on Facebook group membership....haha...or not. 5. I miss ISRAEL like nothing else! I crave the energy and the culture and the men. Puh-leeze! Sexy, muscular, tan JEWISH guys who are direct and speak little English. And, how could I forget? They wear uniforms! Hahaha...no, seriously, more than that. I want to be back in Tel Aviv. I miss it so much. I guess for now I'll just have to settle with my kickass Itunes playlist ~ Broza, Mashina, Efrat Gosh, a little more Broza, HiFive, and Hadag Nachash Time to throw on some clothes and dry my hair. I have work in like 4 hours, crap. perhaps I should sleep sometime soon. More soon! I PROMISE! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, November 13th, 2005
2:46 am	Come to this party...I won't take your pants off! I'm going to make this brief but let me just give you a quick outline of this evening: - Cab ride from Kenmore Square...to Kenmore Square. I guess I just had not realized that asking a cab driver if he was familiar with the ultimate destination was considered rude. Such a grave impropriety! Kicked out of the cab by a less than fluent English speaker. (Not that I'm a xenophone, nativist, or anything of the like...despite what you may think.) - Hop in a mini-van with mini Kaito and his baller crew. Peace through the Fens blasting Spanish music. And, no, not the type of Flamenco, Basque, etc kind of music I'm looking forward to hearing next year in Espana. I was plugged in...and, by plugged in, I mean that I wore my seat belt. - Party at Wentworth. Perhaps should have brushed my hair...nah. Can't figure out if I thoroughly embarassed myself at this one. But, hell, who cares? SAS and I have the CAT MAGNET. hollerrrrrr! (Back story on that one: on the guys' fridge there was this freaky rectangular magnet with a Cheshire-esque. I believe we somehow bargained for it. Or, maybe SAS just threw it in her purse...who knows? It's ours now! It is property of the Shelton 304 microfridge magnet family. So, essentially, it adorns our fridge...right next to the "I Heart Recycling!" magnet that I so dearly love.) perhaps I might be cool enough to write a little bit more tomorrow... (Comment on this)
Friday, November 11th, 2005
1:53 pm	Hey, it’s your Bar Mitzvah, Jack, I’m just reading the Torah portion SHABBAT SHALOM, mothafuckers! So in case you haven't been reading my away messages, tisk tisk, I am 100% obsessed with "The Hebrew Hammer." It is by far, no doubt in my mind, the greatest, funniest movie of ALL time. Gasp, I do believe it's funnier than "Waiting for Guffman." What can I say? I have an unhealthy, passionate crush on the Adam Goldberg, 'the Semitic superstud.' So sexxxy! Okay, so you probably don't agree with me on that one but, hell, I don't really care. Right now I'm introducing Miss SAS to this incredible movie. After living with me for 2 months I believe she's ready for this last and final step of initiation. She can handle it, I know it. 'Let me get a Manischevitz...straight up.' So, just for a moment, let's talk about last night. "Dress as your favorite holiday" mixer ~ SDT and Kappa Sig. I, of course, in rejection of secularism, dressed as one of the greatest days of the year: Yom Ha'atzmaut. Hahahaha. Israeli Independence Day. JRT, of course, rocked it out with me too. Come on, anytime you get to wear an IDF shirt and Tims out in public, I support it...wholeheartedly. But, more than that, last night was ridiculous. DRUNKEN DEBAUCHERY. Is there any other way to explain a night on Ashford?! 'Now that Santa thinks I'm dead this should be a piece of hamantaschen.' I'll just leave you with a few more quotes from this incredible movie: Mordechai Jefferson Carver: [talking on the phone] I need you to get in contact with the world-wide Jewish media conspiracy and mass produce every holiday movie that has a Jewish protagonist who is depicted in a positive light. Chief Bloomenbergansteinthal: So you want me to mass produce "Yentl," "Fiddler on the Roof" and Chaim Potok's "The Chosen?" Mordechai Jefferson Carver: Right. KISS ME, YOU SEMITIC STALLION! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 9th, 2005
1:46 pm	READ THIS AND THE PREVIOUS POSTING RIGHT NOW Seeking a female (18-45) to give a foot massage to on a regular basis I'm a 26 y/o guy who lives in the Boston/Brookline area and enjoys giving foot massages to ladies who appreciate them. I'm looking for one person to give them to on a regular basis, preferrably in the afternoons. If you are interested and serious (have clean and pedicured feet) please e-mail me with a little information about yourself. * this is in or around Boston/Brookline * no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests (1 Comment |Comment on this)
1:39 pm	Bring it on! So Chrissy found these postings under the "community activities section" of Craig's List. I'm hysterical right now!!! How Does a Shower and Steam Bath Together Sound? Hello, I'm an attractive slender male seeking a female who might enjoy meeting for a cup of coffee, and then enjoying a nice private shower and steam bath together? Talk about a great way to spend a cold evening! Not looking for a hookup here, just seeking a woman who's openminded, comfortable with her body, and who'd like to spend time with a perfect gentleman relaxing nude together in a warm shower and steam. Completely private steam, shower, and dressing room, immacculately clean place. I'm a regular at the place, and it's really nice. Hope to hear from someone. * this is in or around South Shore * no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests Dinner at your favorite restaurant if you can beat me at Boggle Just like the description says. I don't think there's a woman in Boston who can beat me at Boggle two out of three games. Restaurant of your choice if you win. Any takers? Ron * this is in or around Boston * no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, November 7th, 2005
11:48 pm	Is the water machine taking points? SO last night instead of finishing my nationalism paper (grr, I hate 301), I decided the best use of my time would be watching a movie. I soon learned that Chrissy had a stash of fabulous dvds in her desk. I won't go into how much I hate her for not telling me this sooner but, yea, I was looking through the collection and came across "Y Tu Mama Tambien". Of course, I freaked out but she was quite apprehensive. Chrissy said, "You probably wouldn't like it. It's kind of like Spanish porn." HELLO, HAD THIS CHILD NEVER MET ME!?! I can't believe my roommate would say something like that. Hell, Spanish porn was MADE for me. Spain anyone in the fall? GRACIAS, BIATCH! Movie was incredible. Loved it. So good and I even understood some of it without the subtitles. That gives me hope, of course, for next year when I spend 5 months hitting on Spanish men. PS: Chrissy's favorite scene is the guys whacking off on the diving boards. Does that surprise you? (Comment on this)
Sunday, November 6th, 2005
1:14 pm	Carla: Football's on....Dana: Tell him to go suck a dick So last night was the Black/White party for Becca and Erin. Amazing. So much fun! You know I do love any opportunity to change out of sweatpants when I'm boozing. I couldn't however, believe how decked people got. I mean, hell, I like to wear heels with the best of them but, at the end of the night, we were still in Tom's basement. (Though I'm not going to lie, this basement is a HUGE step up from those gross BU frat houses and trust me, I know the difference) So basically last night was awesome. Not really sure if I should be providing details but I'll just give a brief run down: D bottomed out, I made a new friend who dressed up as Tom DeLay for Halloween, and I hoodwinked someone into being my semi date. Wait, no, I might have 2 semi dates...and they're roommates. Haha...That, and I woke up to this conversation, oh about 23 seconds ago: I'd like to call this little piece "Philosophizing with Steph": See, when you're really, really drunk you know that you're really, really drunk so you don't do anything stupid. But, then a couple of hours, you think that you're totally fine it's really just that you're less drunk so you just start to do stupid stuff. Food time. Roommates are screaming. Love these girls!!! (Comment on this)